My Hero and I make all big decisions together. And most small ones. We talk about everything that requires any type of time commitment, money, or family involvement. We are almost always on the same page and can quickly talk through and make a decision that we're both happy with. After 15 years of marriage, that is one thing that I'm very grateful for.
The one big difference in our decision making styles is this. Once My Hero thinks through the choices, evaluates it, and comes to a conclusion, he is done making that decision. He doesn't go back and rethink through it or come up with additional questions that may change the decision that was made.
I, on the other hand, can work through the process and come up with an answer, but the next day I may start to question it again. At that point, I usually like to bring it back up and rediscuss it. My Hero is good about entertaining my back and forth decision making for awhile...but sometimes, especially with really big decisions, it drives him crazy that I seem to keep changing my mind.
He wants to feel confident in the decisions we make and when I start to question things after we had come to an agreement, it is stressful for him. He will continue to discuss it with me to a certain point, but after a few days of it, he usually tells me that he can't talk about it anymore. Which I respect. If I still need to bounce ideas off someone, I tend to call a close friend or my mom to talk through it further.
Although I seem to waiver as I'm working through it, I always come back to the same decision that we made in the first place. It just takes me a little longer to be sure that I'm comfortable with the choice that we made.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Friday, August 19, 2011
1st Day of School Teacher Survival Kits
Last night was Meet the Teacher night at our elementary school. My kids were so excited and nervous about seeing their new classrooms. This year, I have a first grader, two second graders, and a 4th grader. It's funny to see how much the rooms differ as the grade gets higher....1st & 2nd grade is full of color, wall decorations, and fun. Fourth grade has math problems on the walls!
I thought it'd be fun to have something for the kids to give the teachers when they met them. So, we created some fun and inexpensive little gift bags for them.
We bought miniture canvas tote bags in our school colors and filled them will 9 little goodies and a handwritten note explaining why each item was being given.
It was totally silly, but the teachers seemed to love it and it gave the kids something to talk about when first meeting their new teacher.
I did decide not to give one to the 4th grade teacher, mainly because he is a man and would probably not find it as cute of the female teachers. And because my 4th grade is a boy and has started to act like his parents embarrass him in public....but, that's part of our job, right?!?
I thought it'd be fun to have something for the kids to give the teachers when they met them. So, we created some fun and inexpensive little gift bags for them.
We bought miniture canvas tote bags in our school colors and filled them will 9 little goodies and a handwritten note explaining why each item was being given.
- Altoid mints because you were "mint" to teach. :)
- Energy bar so you can keep with with all the kids.
- Hand sanitizer because kids are germy!
- Googly eyes because an extra pair of eyes is always helpful.
- Udder cream hand lotion so that you will have an "udderly smooth" 1st day.
- Advil!
- Stress ball (just in case)
- Extra brand gum so that this will be an 'extra' great day!
- Lip balm with the slogan "For your tired lips" from repeating instructions all day.
It was totally silly, but the teachers seemed to love it and it gave the kids something to talk about when first meeting their new teacher.
I did decide not to give one to the 4th grade teacher, mainly because he is a man and would probably not find it as cute of the female teachers. And because my 4th grade is a boy and has started to act like his parents embarrass him in public....but, that's part of our job, right?!?
Monday, August 15, 2011
What's your answer?
I saw this on someone's facebook page today:
Profound! I love that just reading this question makes my mind immediately race to the most precious things in my life. It's also interesting to me to realize the things that didn't rush to mind. Things that I usually would place importance on and spend time/energy working toward or worrying about. Things like how stylish my clothes are (or are not) & what my hair and makeup look like when I'm in public. Things like who wins various Reality TV shows or what we're going to do over the weekend. It's amazing how much time I spend thinking about things that really mean nothing in the grand scheme of things.
After reading this question for the first time, I also imagined lots of people sitting alone in great parking spots at the mall.
I was happy to know that every day I pray a prayer of thanksgiving for our family, our home, and having enough food to eat. I was also grateful that I daily thank the Lord for loving us.
As I thought more about it, I realized that my kids take turns praying at meal times and the things they are thankful for make my heart smile. They always list these things: our family, giving us a nice home to live in, that their brothers & sisters are nice to them, that mom & dad work hard for our family, for our food and for keeping us safe. Almost daily, they thank the Lord for dying on the cross for us.
What a blessing it is to realize that my kids get it. They get that praying is not just about asking God for things. Sure, they occasionally do, but it's not their focus. If there is a specific event that we've been talking about as a family, they will pray for that. For example, they prayed daily for the earthquake victims in Haiti for months and months. They prayed for their safety and that God would help the people of Haiti. Everyone once in awhile they'll throw in something silly at the end of their prayer. Like 'please let mom say yes to watching a movie' or 'please let us have dessert after dinner'. But they know they're just being silly with those requests.
I hope to keep this question in mind as I continue to teach my kids about praying. I believe that instilling a thankful heart in them will work wonders in their lives!
What if you woke up today and all you had left was what you thanked God for yesterday?
Profound! I love that just reading this question makes my mind immediately race to the most precious things in my life. It's also interesting to me to realize the things that didn't rush to mind. Things that I usually would place importance on and spend time/energy working toward or worrying about. Things like how stylish my clothes are (or are not) & what my hair and makeup look like when I'm in public. Things like who wins various Reality TV shows or what we're going to do over the weekend. It's amazing how much time I spend thinking about things that really mean nothing in the grand scheme of things.
After reading this question for the first time, I also imagined lots of people sitting alone in great parking spots at the mall.
I was happy to know that every day I pray a prayer of thanksgiving for our family, our home, and having enough food to eat. I was also grateful that I daily thank the Lord for loving us.
As I thought more about it, I realized that my kids take turns praying at meal times and the things they are thankful for make my heart smile. They always list these things: our family, giving us a nice home to live in, that their brothers & sisters are nice to them, that mom & dad work hard for our family, for our food and for keeping us safe. Almost daily, they thank the Lord for dying on the cross for us.
What a blessing it is to realize that my kids get it. They get that praying is not just about asking God for things. Sure, they occasionally do, but it's not their focus. If there is a specific event that we've been talking about as a family, they will pray for that. For example, they prayed daily for the earthquake victims in Haiti for months and months. They prayed for their safety and that God would help the people of Haiti. Everyone once in awhile they'll throw in something silly at the end of their prayer. Like 'please let mom say yes to watching a movie' or 'please let us have dessert after dinner'. But they know they're just being silly with those requests.
I hope to keep this question in mind as I continue to teach my kids about praying. I believe that instilling a thankful heart in them will work wonders in their lives!
Saturday, August 13, 2011
1st Annual Girls' Trip
When I found out that I was pregnant with a girl (Miss Smoopy) in 2004, I started some serious praying about my relationship with her. Creating a strong bond filled with trust & honesty has remained one of my primary goals for my relationship with her for the past 6 1/2 years. I've work tirelessly at it. And at this point, I'd say that I've been successful. I can see how God has granted us an wonderful ability to communicate and given her a comfort and desire to tell me everything. At this point, I feel as if our relationship is right where I hoped it would be. Now, she is still young, but I believe that this strong foundation is critical to navigating the tougher years well.
My other daughter (Miss Giggles) has been a little more challenging to bond with due to our circumstances. She was 4 years old when she came into our family. And she came with 3 of her brothers, so I didn't have the luxury to focus solely on bonding with her as I did with Miss Smoopy. She also has challenges to overcome as she learns to trust me and feels safe to tell me things just because of what she's experienced with past relationships (birth mom abandoning her, etc). But my goal of building a strong bond with her is still there...and I'm determined to give it all I can so that I have some chance of helping her through the teenage years.
So, I've been thinking about how to do this. Of course, the day to day interactions and responses that I give them are the most critical. However, when we're at home, I also have 3 other kiddos that need my time, energy, and attention. As I've praying through this, I've realized that creating strong, vivid, positive memories with my girls goes a long way. With this in mind, I planned our first Girls' Trip!
What a wonderful treat it was to have a couple of days to focus on them and just have fun together! They're old enough that they packed independently (using a list I gave them) and could hardly contain their excitement about our trip!
We started out with breakfast at one of our favorite spots, and then headed to the mall. We enjoyed everything we did together. No whining, no asking for things over and over, no arguing, no correcting. Just smiling and giggling and enjoying time with each other!
From there, we checked into an amazing resort nearby. We jumped on the bed, got fancy for dinner, & skipped down the hallways. It was perfect!
For 36 hours, all we did was enjoy being together. It went so well that we immediately decided we must make it an annual tradition.
What a blessing and step in the right direction with my sweet daughters!
My other daughter (Miss Giggles) has been a little more challenging to bond with due to our circumstances. She was 4 years old when she came into our family. And she came with 3 of her brothers, so I didn't have the luxury to focus solely on bonding with her as I did with Miss Smoopy. She also has challenges to overcome as she learns to trust me and feels safe to tell me things just because of what she's experienced with past relationships (birth mom abandoning her, etc). But my goal of building a strong bond with her is still there...and I'm determined to give it all I can so that I have some chance of helping her through the teenage years.
So, I've been thinking about how to do this. Of course, the day to day interactions and responses that I give them are the most critical. However, when we're at home, I also have 3 other kiddos that need my time, energy, and attention. As I've praying through this, I've realized that creating strong, vivid, positive memories with my girls goes a long way. With this in mind, I planned our first Girls' Trip!
What a wonderful treat it was to have a couple of days to focus on them and just have fun together! They're old enough that they packed independently (using a list I gave them) and could hardly contain their excitement about our trip!
We started out with breakfast at one of our favorite spots, and then headed to the mall. We enjoyed everything we did together. No whining, no asking for things over and over, no arguing, no correcting. Just smiling and giggling and enjoying time with each other!
From there, we checked into an amazing resort nearby. We jumped on the bed, got fancy for dinner, & skipped down the hallways. It was perfect!
For 36 hours, all we did was enjoy being together. It went so well that we immediately decided we must make it an annual tradition.
What a blessing and step in the right direction with my sweet daughters!
Monday, August 8, 2011
The Medication Mystery
Mr. Adventure is on a slew of medications for his various diagnoses. I'm not convinced that any of them work very well, but it seems that we have a combination that keeps a few of his behaviors partly controlled.
Since we met him 3 years ago, he has changed or added medications many, many times. Over the past year, we've added a few of the new ones, added and discontinued one, and changed dosages of many about every 2 months.
When this summer started, we once again made a med change and 2 new ones. Things had finally started to feel like we had found the right combination. During all of this, I've been less than happy with our psychiatrist, so recently I made a switch to someone new. Unfortunately for us, this new dr decides to make more changes to our currently stable dose of meds.
I explained very carefully to him that we did not just pull these numbers out of the air. We had worked up to the current doses slowly and only because the lower doses did not impact his behaviors. Well, he decided to make this change anyway.
One of the meds (a mood stabilizer) was slightly decreased after we discussed it thoroughly. The other (an anti-anxiety) was taken down to less than half of what he had been on without my consent. This really irritated me. Decreasing this med, for a kid with an extreme and crippling anxiety disorder, was disasterous for our family.
Luckily for us, My Hero was available to go to this last medication management appointment. He discussed the problems with the psychiatrist and asked for the meds to be returned to their previous doses. The dr was willing to move one of them back, but argued a little about the other one. He kept saying, "let's leave it like this a little longer and see how it goes".
Now, despite how it sounds, I'm not one who likes having my kids medicated. A few years ago I would have said that I could always find an alternative to medicating my child. However, I have seen that I was wrong in that assumption. At this point, Mr. Adventure has to know what it feels like to be 'normal' before he'll ever be able to choose that. I'm not positive that he'll ever be able to self-regulate....drug exposure in utero seems to have that effect.
Back to dealing with the dr....to his recommendation to 'just see how it goes', My Hero replied "For you, just seeing how it goes only changes the swipe of your pen the next time we see you. For us, just seeing how it goes means 30 days of living with an unmanageable child, further stressing our already over-stressed family, and decreasing the potential of any positive interactions with this kid. So, with that in mind, I'm not willing to just see how it goes. I know how it will go. We've been on that dose before and lived through the disaster."
At that, the psychiatrist quietly wrote the Rx for the dose that he was asked. What a circus is medication thing is!!
Since we met him 3 years ago, he has changed or added medications many, many times. Over the past year, we've added a few of the new ones, added and discontinued one, and changed dosages of many about every 2 months.
When this summer started, we once again made a med change and 2 new ones. Things had finally started to feel like we had found the right combination. During all of this, I've been less than happy with our psychiatrist, so recently I made a switch to someone new. Unfortunately for us, this new dr decides to make more changes to our currently stable dose of meds.
I explained very carefully to him that we did not just pull these numbers out of the air. We had worked up to the current doses slowly and only because the lower doses did not impact his behaviors. Well, he decided to make this change anyway.
One of the meds (a mood stabilizer) was slightly decreased after we discussed it thoroughly. The other (an anti-anxiety) was taken down to less than half of what he had been on without my consent. This really irritated me. Decreasing this med, for a kid with an extreme and crippling anxiety disorder, was disasterous for our family.
Luckily for us, My Hero was available to go to this last medication management appointment. He discussed the problems with the psychiatrist and asked for the meds to be returned to their previous doses. The dr was willing to move one of them back, but argued a little about the other one. He kept saying, "let's leave it like this a little longer and see how it goes".
Now, despite how it sounds, I'm not one who likes having my kids medicated. A few years ago I would have said that I could always find an alternative to medicating my child. However, I have seen that I was wrong in that assumption. At this point, Mr. Adventure has to know what it feels like to be 'normal' before he'll ever be able to choose that. I'm not positive that he'll ever be able to self-regulate....drug exposure in utero seems to have that effect.
Back to dealing with the dr....to his recommendation to 'just see how it goes', My Hero replied "For you, just seeing how it goes only changes the swipe of your pen the next time we see you. For us, just seeing how it goes means 30 days of living with an unmanageable child, further stressing our already over-stressed family, and decreasing the potential of any positive interactions with this kid. So, with that in mind, I'm not willing to just see how it goes. I know how it will go. We've been on that dose before and lived through the disaster."
At that, the psychiatrist quietly wrote the Rx for the dose that he was asked. What a circus is medication thing is!!
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