The past 7 days have been torture for our family. And this time, it hit us unexpectedly. School just started and the first week went great. Things at home were calm and going well. Medications were stable and appeared to be effectively managing behaviors.
So, when Mr. Adventure jumped from his 2nd story bedroom window last Saturday morning, we were surprised. The act itself wasn't surprising since he's done this before, but the fact that we couldn't identify any triggers made it surprising this time.
Before we could even deal with the behavior or try to find out what he was thinking to lead him to do that, we had do deal with the possibility that he was hurt from the drop (about 15 feet..... 2.5 times his height). He was holding his back and seemed dazed, so we called 9-1-1. I must say, they got here amazingly fast! Three police cars, a fire truck, and an ambulance were in our driveway in less than 5 minutes. No way to keep a low profile with all of that. He was put on a stretcher and neck brace and loaded into the ambulance. What a horrible sight to watch one of your kids being taken away like that! And to make it worse, our other 4 kiddos were crying hysterically as they watched this whole thing play out.
Once at the children's hospital, everything checked out physically. No broken bones, sprains, bruises. Mentally, however, it was quite concerning that an 8 yr old would do such a thing...again. So, from the hospital, Mr. Adventure took a trip to an inpatient mental health facility....again. He spent close to a week there.
The stress of deciding what we should do next is indescribable. The entire week that he was gone, My Hero and I spent every waking moment discussing how to move forward with him. What could we do differently? How could we help him? Were we able to keep him safe? Was he a threat to others? Is this now a pattern that is just going to escalate? Is he that desperate to get out of our family? Will we be able to build connections with him that we haven't been able to build over the past 3 yrs? What are our choices? And about a million more questions.....
We also sought the expertise of the many medical professionals that work with him and know our family well. Our pediatrician, our therapist, our adoption agency. We asked many strong Christian friends to pray with us and advise us. We cried out to the Lord for guidance, clarity, and peace.
We were also well aware that Mr. Adventure would come out of that facility with a few additional diagnoses. It amazes me that no matter how many he has, someone can always find another one to add to the ever growing list. In a conversation with his therapist, we were given yet another diagnosis that may explain some of the behaviors. So, as always, I start to research this new label. And although I laugh as I write these next words...this new diagnosis may actually be the most correct. I laugh because most of his behaviors seem to fit into many, many possible categories....so, I'm well aware that even this new one is just a diagnosis.
In the end, all that really matters is identifying ways to manage the behaviors. However, for me, it's helpful to have something to call it. And this new diagnosis is way less scary than most that we've seen in the past. Plus, I'm able to manage his behaviors (and my expectations) better when I can lump them into a category that seems to explain what's going on...because just guessing at why he does the things he does is incredibly frustrating for me.
So, I'm hopeful that I'll be able to adjust my parenting strategy to better fit this new possible cause and avoid future jumps out the window.
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